I have finally decided to blog more regularly now; especially when vacations are around and I have more time to. I have also resolved to keep my blogs absolutely informal and simple and not too shady (except at times!) for people to relate to.
It’s finally the end of the first year of my stay at the hallowed IITB. Exactly 2 semesters ago, I had thought of life to be very different. I thought I had conquered the world after having passed IITJEE and entering the portals of the most challenging environments the world has to offer. I had also made great fancied great prospects about my performance at IIT, maybe even a branch change. As of my academics at IIT now, they are completely in the doldrums to be euphemistically precise; and has left me with more unanswered questions and food for thought than I would have liked on my plate.
We often dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. Similarly, I also say to myself that we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done. We always think ideally about so many things in life, even when it’s kicking you constantly in the ass and we’re still not bothered. Maybe in the long run it does work out, but who gives the guarantee. Which prophet actually makes such general views about life and expects the whole world to live up to his trite, idyllic philosophies. I (and perhaps everyone else!) talk from experience people, things don’t work out the way you want them to work all the time.
At the beginning, I was really happy with the setting at IITB. The facilities were really good and I made some great friends too! I discovered groovy veracities of how people prepared to come to IIT, seniors’ informal intro sessions, mess food, lectures, squash, death metal and programming to name a few things. As the exams passed, I soon realized that IIT is a great place for the greatest to discover their mediocrity. These are people who can merely intimidate you with their presence, let alone their academic and/or non-academic prowess as well. One just feels angry without enthusiasm. Maybe the only test I passed that semester, or for that matter the whole year, was that I survived! I spent way too much time doing other unrelated things like interacting ad infinitum with wing mates, wasted time in general and not studied and paid attention in the lectures that I had attended. The courses weren’t as easy as it seems and I fell for its deceptive looks. The exams left me traumatized and scandalized as I had far less preparation than normal for those papers. My grades suffered and I ended up with marks not even worth mentioning.
Then I began Mood Indigo work over the vacations, frankly because I had nothing else to do. I thought maybe discovering how the festival works, getting to know and interacting with seniors was also something I couldn’t afford to miss, so I utilized my chance. I worked hard for Mood Indigo, being in multiple departments. I got good appreciation from my coordinators and that gave me a good feeling about my college fest in general. I had a great time at the fest time as well, and didn’t regret working for Competitions, Informals, Security and Assistance at the same time. It left me less rejuvenated for the second semester yes; but I had a whole new tenacity and doggedness in me to prove a point the next semester.
Before I knew what hit me, it was the same old routine start to the semester as well. Not paying attention in lectures was again taking its toll, principally when tough courses are around and the term being tough in general as its flooded with plenty of extra-curricular events. Techfest happened, and I was nominated as a compeer for certain events all three days of the fest. I had unfaltering decided to not engage myself in any manner with Techfest, considering I gave it all I had for Mood Indigo; but it was a tempting offer I couldn’t resist. Mercifully, I got great admiration from the hordes of fervent techies when I was on stage, which gave me an all-new high of doing things at Techfest, or any fest for that matter.
The moments of truth arrived later, when exams went from bad to worse. My name was among the esteemed and atypical probable contenders to be sent to the Academic Office for outstandingly bad performance in Multivariable Calculus. Other courses weren’t palpably far-off from the thwarting scores of misery either, which evidently left a scar for the semester left. It was all about saving grace performances now, with desperate measures calling in few courses. PAF also deleted some time with me working a few occasions but that would be just an excuse to state. End semester exams arrived and night-outs began. Somehow, in someway, I did what was to be done, not completely however. Papers as usual, by habit to be very honest, sucked hard. Passing became the only 2-way criteria as far as grades were concerned.
At the end of the year, I’m glad to say.. It’s finally over. I have 3 months of my own complete time to look forward to. Maybe dwelling on reality is what keeps me away from greatness. The times to take negative stress will temporarily come to a halt. Befriending myself will not work anymore, as it seems to be about opening my heart as a homeless shelter for all the destituted and prostituted aspects of my being that I have been running from for months without even knowing that's what I have been doing. I plan to do a lot of things this summer. Lets see if it turns out to be a vacation to remember…
It’s finally the end of the first year of my stay at the hallowed IITB. Exactly 2 semesters ago, I had thought of life to be very different. I thought I had conquered the world after having passed IITJEE and entering the portals of the most challenging environments the world has to offer. I had also made great fancied great prospects about my performance at IIT, maybe even a branch change. As of my academics at IIT now, they are completely in the doldrums to be euphemistically precise; and has left me with more unanswered questions and food for thought than I would have liked on my plate.
We often dwell on the things that seem impossible rather than on the things that are possible. Similarly, I also say to myself that we are depressed by what remains to be done and forget to be thankful for all that has been done. We always think ideally about so many things in life, even when it’s kicking you constantly in the ass and we’re still not bothered. Maybe in the long run it does work out, but who gives the guarantee. Which prophet actually makes such general views about life and expects the whole world to live up to his trite, idyllic philosophies. I (and perhaps everyone else!) talk from experience people, things don’t work out the way you want them to work all the time.
At the beginning, I was really happy with the setting at IITB. The facilities were really good and I made some great friends too! I discovered groovy veracities of how people prepared to come to IIT, seniors’ informal intro sessions, mess food, lectures, squash, death metal and programming to name a few things. As the exams passed, I soon realized that IIT is a great place for the greatest to discover their mediocrity. These are people who can merely intimidate you with their presence, let alone their academic and/or non-academic prowess as well. One just feels angry without enthusiasm. Maybe the only test I passed that semester, or for that matter the whole year, was that I survived! I spent way too much time doing other unrelated things like interacting ad infinitum with wing mates, wasted time in general and not studied and paid attention in the lectures that I had attended. The courses weren’t as easy as it seems and I fell for its deceptive looks. The exams left me traumatized and scandalized as I had far less preparation than normal for those papers. My grades suffered and I ended up with marks not even worth mentioning.
Then I began Mood Indigo work over the vacations, frankly because I had nothing else to do. I thought maybe discovering how the festival works, getting to know and interacting with seniors was also something I couldn’t afford to miss, so I utilized my chance. I worked hard for Mood Indigo, being in multiple departments. I got good appreciation from my coordinators and that gave me a good feeling about my college fest in general. I had a great time at the fest time as well, and didn’t regret working for Competitions, Informals, Security and Assistance at the same time. It left me less rejuvenated for the second semester yes; but I had a whole new tenacity and doggedness in me to prove a point the next semester.
Before I knew what hit me, it was the same old routine start to the semester as well. Not paying attention in lectures was again taking its toll, principally when tough courses are around and the term being tough in general as its flooded with plenty of extra-curricular events. Techfest happened, and I was nominated as a compeer for certain events all three days of the fest. I had unfaltering decided to not engage myself in any manner with Techfest, considering I gave it all I had for Mood Indigo; but it was a tempting offer I couldn’t resist. Mercifully, I got great admiration from the hordes of fervent techies when I was on stage, which gave me an all-new high of doing things at Techfest, or any fest for that matter.
The moments of truth arrived later, when exams went from bad to worse. My name was among the esteemed and atypical probable contenders to be sent to the Academic Office for outstandingly bad performance in Multivariable Calculus. Other courses weren’t palpably far-off from the thwarting scores of misery either, which evidently left a scar for the semester left. It was all about saving grace performances now, with desperate measures calling in few courses. PAF also deleted some time with me working a few occasions but that would be just an excuse to state. End semester exams arrived and night-outs began. Somehow, in someway, I did what was to be done, not completely however. Papers as usual, by habit to be very honest, sucked hard. Passing became the only 2-way criteria as far as grades were concerned.
At the end of the year, I’m glad to say.. It’s finally over. I have 3 months of my own complete time to look forward to. Maybe dwelling on reality is what keeps me away from greatness. The times to take negative stress will temporarily come to a halt. Befriending myself will not work anymore, as it seems to be about opening my heart as a homeless shelter for all the destituted and prostituted aspects of my being that I have been running from for months without even knowing that's what I have been doing. I plan to do a lot of things this summer. Lets see if it turns out to be a vacation to remember…
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